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G. F. Smith Bio-bullets

My dad was born on the 4th of July; he was a factory worker most of his life
I about choked to death when I was around 8 years old, from swollen glands due to some viral thing
I went to country schools and city schools; I was the “city-slicker” and the “country-bumpkin,” so understandably I was alone a lot
I loved climbing trees, riding and doing stunts on bikes and mini-bikes, and I had a lot of dogs and cats around while growing up
My Grandfather died the day after my 12th birthday
My mom was a stay-at-home mother until a divorce—I was fourteen, and basically on my own from then on
I had my own apartment and worked full time at seventeen
Hitch-hiked around the country—twice—back in the late seventies
Lost everything I had in a flood once
Became insatiably curious about life and the reason behind it all
Found God, Science, the Big Universe—and Purpose
Married at twenty-three
Had a Protestant wedding in a Catholic Church
We’re still married—33 years to date
My wedding day was the last time I had a full shave for about 19 years, that is until I burned the beard off when a carburetor backfired in my face; fortunately my youngest son was behind me at the time; I looked around the raised hood at my wife hanging out the window of the van; she went into hysterical laughter
• We have four children, born in: ‘82, ‘84, ’86, and ‘91 respectively
We have 5 grand children to date—3 boys and 2 girls
We have several awesome daughter and son in-laws (they’re our kids too, and we love them all to death)
I’ve lived in the wooded hills of southern Indiana most of my life
My father died of liver cancer
I’ve picked up snakes, bats, catfish, horned owls, blue herons, and mice with my hands, and have had leeches on me
I like to fish, and have hunted a few times: rabbit, deer; not too into hunting…pretty messy; I am carnivorous though
I took down a deer once—with a 300 caliber Chevy Chevette
I’ve hit 3 deer total while driving, and had one deer hit me (not all at the same time)
Seen a wild turkey take flight and chase a hawk through the woods—courageously protecting its young, I assumed
We’ve had wild turkey, deer, beaver, coyote, and other assorted animals grace our property and pond over the years
I’ve played guitar since I was very young—sang and performed at 3 different weddings, and a few concerts with several hundred people in attendance; I’ve also written a few original pieces
I’ve sang Karaoke in a true Karaoke Bar, in Japan 
Been a trade carpenter, woodworker, mason, dry-waller, painter, minor electrician and plumber for a living
Built a Gazebo, a Boat Dock, a Grotto, a Church (the one we were married in), several Log Cabins, numerous houses, additions, commercial buildings, along with assorted cabinets, doors, and various other woodworking projects
I’ve had construction projects that I’ve worked on appear in two Hollywood movies
I’ve cut several very large trees down with chainsaws—only one came close to falling on a house, minus the braches that broke one of our picture windows that one time
I’ve been a laborer, salesman, contractor, draftsman, CNC operator, supervisor, manager, six sigma greenbelt, website designer, publisher, and writer
I started college when I was 39 years old; graduated with a BSM degree in business—magna cum laude
I’ve given presentations to CEO’s of major corporations, and trained hundreds on Continuous Improvement, Kaizen, and Safety
Had a few minor car and motorcycle wrecks
Broke collar bones, twice—once because I ran straight into a block wall; the other I went over the handle bars of my dirt bike
Cut myself myriad times; once with a circular saw
Had a few close friends die at early ages—health, and accidents
Been Spelunking dozens of times
Also been lost for a short time in a cave while Spelunking—I was terrified
Had to squeeze through passages that required me to exhale all the way just to fit
Known people who’ve died while Spelunking
I’ve hiked and camped in the Rocky Mountains, and the Smokies
Nearly drove a car off a thousand-foot cliff in the Rocky Mountains while driving on snow covered back roads once
I’ve snorkeled off the coast of Miami, FL; seen fish bigger than me; set personal swimming speed record getting back to shore
Driven cars and motorcycles in excess of over 120 mph
Jumped out of various airplanes - 28 times
Hung on the wings of airplanes while they were flying
Landed parachutes standing up - 27 times
Had one accidental low-opening parachute experience while freefalling—learned to pay greater attention from then on
Knew a guy who died while Skydiving
I’ve never landed in a small airplane before
I’ve hung out with the wild ponies on Assateague Island, MD.
Been on very high zip-lines and cable rides 
Experienced numerous Roller Coasters, several of which nearly made me pee myself—loved them all
I’ve shot numerous high-powered weapons and made tennis ball cannons
Was with a friend, in my Mom’s car, when he accidentally shot himself in the leg with his dad’s borrowed .22—yes, road signs were involved (I was 16) 
Been in the middle of a large fireworks mortar that accidentally went off on the ground once—no one was injured, but we all felt like we were inside some 1960’s Star Trek alien space creature; or maybe it was just the alcohol (no, I was in my 30’s that time)
Stood in a tee box while a guy got a hole-in-one on the hole behind me; the guy I was out there with witnessed it
Been to a few other countries: Germany, Japan, Mexico, and Canada
Been to NASA’s Kennedy Space Center, FL.—absolutely loved every minute of it 
I’ve been following the Hubble Space Telescope, the Space Shuttles, the Mars missions, and the ISS since their inception
I was never in the service, but I have the utmost respect for those who are, and have been—my father was a medic in the Korean War at the DMZ—my heartfelt thanks to you all!
My mother had Alzheimer’s and died on my birthday 
All the above has, and continues, to inspire me to think, to write, to live, and to trust God that life has its reasons
I just wish I could grill food without burning it—I choose to keep trying


G. F. Smith


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